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"I’m like that. Either I forget right away or I never forget."
-Samuel Beckett; “Waiting for Godot” (via lunarvapour)

untexting:

i’m that kind of person who between two choices always pick the wrong one

pickup line: wanna watch this murder documentary with me?

hooddoggy:

i want to get so good at giving sly digs that you dont even realize i insulted you until like a week later when you randomly start crying while eating breakfast